Chapter 30 - I have a big question for you...
#Spillthebeansonlove - Chapter 30
Who sends four bottles of wine and says, ‘I have a big question for you?’ This better be good!
I knew the question wasn’t going to be THE question. We didn’t know each other well enough and there were too many things to iron out being that we were long distance, but honestly, that made me question it even more. What in the world was he going to ask me and why couldn’t he just ask it during one of our many phone calls, FaceTimes or texts?
I learned many years back during my yoga teacher training that there are 4 Gates of Speech. They are:
1. Is it truthful?
2. Is it necessary to say?
3. Is it the appropriate time?
4. Can it be said in a kind way?
Being an impulsive Aries, number 3 is a tough one for me. When I think it, it usually tends to come out pretty quickly. Guapo on the other hand, a Libra and in true ‘balancing scales’ form, is steady, patient, grounded and careful with his words and timing of them. I assume this is why he’s waiting for the perfect moment to ask me this mysterious question.
The day is here - I’m so excited to pick up Guapo from the airport. I do a big clean in the apartment and get my tool kit as organized for him as possible. After all, he has quite the ‘honey-do’ list. I’ve never made a ‘honey-do’ list, so this was kind of fun. In a way, I felt like I was playing ‘house.’
He arrived late at night, so we planned to hop to all the projects first thing in the morning. My job was to cook breakfast and make sure that Guapo had adequate energy and caffeine consumption to get the job done.
The sun starts to peak through my curtains and before I know it, Guapo is up, showered, and digging through my tool kit. Milo and I stay in bed and snuggle a little longer. He loves to be the little spoon and I never deny him those snuggles. After a bit of time, Milo gives me a look. Being that we spend a lot of time together, I know what he’s thinking - how can someone jump out of bed with so much gusto to do house chores? Well whatever that super power is, I’m not complaining.
After a few more minutes of puppy snuggles, it was time for me to get up and work on my end of the bargain.
I start cracking the eggs and out of the corner of my eye I see that the chandelier is happily back in the ceiling where it belongs. ‘Guapo! The chandelier!! It looks amazing. When did you hang that?’ I ask.
He laughs and says, ‘while you were sleeping mi vida.’ I explain to him that when your 6 lb. yorkie wants to spoon, it’s really really hard to say no. (That was me covering for the fact that I love to sleep).
I look over and he is single handily lifting the washing machine and pulling it out of the laundry room.
I remember seeing a National Geographic special of some sort on the power of ants. Something like they can lift a few times their body weight, and as I watched my Superman, I thought, hmmm, look at that ‘ant-like’ strength and determination. He disassembled the washer and within about a half hour, the clogged tube was cleared out with a hanger from the dry cleaner and the washer was functioning properly and back in the laundry room.
He paused to enjoy eggs, toast, fruit and coffee with me. He loves the way I make scrambled eggs, and I love to make them for him. Truth be told, my mom is the master egg scrambler but I guess I picked up a thing or two from her, because mine are pretty darn good. He tells me that it’s the best breakfast he’s ever had and that he could eat this every morning. I jokingly asked him if is coffee is spiked.
He graciously spent a couple more hours that afternoon replacing/upgrading my kitchen and bathroom faucets as well as the shower head and knob. I couldn’t stop looking at my apartment. The upgrades gave it a whole new energy, a renewal, a freshness that was so exciting. I loved watching him work, and loved being his assistant. The teamwork aspect of it was fun, and as usual, I was blown away by his generosity and his desire to do these things for me. Instead of diving into all of the questions of why he was doing this, and why he was doing this for me, etc. I chose to accept the gifts and just say thank you.
I made us dinner reservations for that evening and I’ve never been more excited to get ready than I was tonight. Quite frankly I was dying to try out my new shower. I got in and I literally couldn’t believe it? Was I living in a five-star hotel? I yelled to him from the bathroom, ‘it’s amazing! It’s better than I ever thought it could be!’
I beamed with joy from the most magnificent shower of my life not only because the shower head was incredible and the hot water was on point, but more so, because the daily task of showering was now forever filled with loving memories of his gift. After my spa-like renewal, I peeked into the living room and noticed that he set out two wine glasses and was decanting one of the bottles of Malbec.
He had Celia Cruz playing in the background. She’s a famous larger-than-life Cuban singer who provides the best music for salsa dancing.
I got ready quickly so I could sit with him and experience his favorite wine. It was delicious. It was bold, full-bodied, and dark like him, it was juicy, jammy and sweet like me. With each sip I fell a little more deeply in love.
Here we were in my beautiful apartment, together, sharing this magical moment. A moment I wasn't sure I'd ever experience...
He smiles at me, stands up, reaches out his arms, pulls me in close and leads me through a beginner salsa. I’m a bit stiff, wishing I’d at least finished my glass of wine before I show him how rigid a former competitive cheerleader really is with her dance moves.
We laugh, we hug, we salsa, and we connect deeply yet tenderly. This moment reminds me of the Yoga sutra 'sthira sukha' which means strong, steady, stable, yet gentle, joyful, peaceful. The best of both worlds in one special moment.
He smiles at me with his perfectly imperfect smile, and says, ‘I’m going to teach you how to salsa.’ My mind fast forwards at the speed of light to the first dance at our wedding. I’m excited, but panic comes over me. I need lessons, stat.
I come back to my mantra of staying present. I think to myself, It’s ok Ms. Type A, you don’t need to know every salsa move right now.
I love when I can catch myself being so perfectionist that even I can see the ridiculousness. I internally chuckle, we sit back down and take a sip of the empyrean Malbec.
He softly, yet powerfully grabs my hands. I snap out of my internal thoughts. He says, ‘so I have a question for you.’ I remind him, that I am very well aware of this. I wonder if he knows my super power? I more than remember that he has something he would like to ask me.
He gently and methodically begins to string his words together. He carefully enters into uncharted territory and I can tell that he is nervous to ask me the question. His dark soulful eyes connect with mine and he says, ‘I would like to know if you want children someday?’